Are You on a Path of no Regrets?
Jul 17th, 2008 by admin
Most of us have made a decision that we later regretted. It’s not a question of if or when; it’s a question of how many times it happened before. And more than just a few of us have not only made a bad decision or two, but we’ve made that very same bad decision more than once.
Now you can be high minded and say you have no regrets. Good. I would encourage that if you’re truly learning from your experience, but it can be a major problem when you are making those decisions unconsciously and unaccountably.
Having gained some wisdom from some of my own boneheaded choices, I wanted my kids to learn and practice being consciously aware of their decision making. The choices they made and the consequences that followed could and would alter the course of their lives. Their childish excuse, “I couldn’t help it,” was about to end.
Then again, maybe that excuse is not so childish after all. I’ve heard it from many of my clients - high ranking executives, physicians, attorneys and business owners. Can it be true that they just couldn’t help it?
Recently Wired reported the results of a study by neuroscientist John-Dylan Haynes that suggests that decisions are made in the subconscious regions of the brain seconds before a conscious choice is made. In the experiments, researchers using brain scanners could predict people’s decisions seven seconds before the test subjects were even aware of making them.
The test subjects felt like they had arrived at their decision using self direction, logic or emotional feedback, but in fact the decision was already made. They used logic or their “gut feel” to justify the subconscious decision made seconds earlier. If those results hold up, it could blow a big hole in the concept of free will. Apparently they didn’t decide; they were decided.
My point is not to debate whether or not we have free will. Greater minds than my own have been either philosophizing or using scientific methods for centuries to understand that. Instead, my intent is to open the possibility of an unseen guiding hand that points us in the direction of right doing – to a path of no regrets.
I don’t believe that our boneheaded decisions come from the subconscious mind. I believe those decisions come as a result of not hearing, ignoring or subverting our inner wisdom. That doesn’t mean everything turns out perfectly if we do listen; it just means that our integrity and authenticity is upheld no matter what happens.
In moments of absolute presence and clarity, I have personally experienced the sense of being “decided” rather than consciously deciding. Without consciously making a simple decision such as whether to go left or go right, I just listened to my inner voice and followed the simple directions. The consequences of my unquestioning obedience to that guidance has resulted to some of my most astonishing and rewarding experiences.
In fact, I’ve discovered that most of my regrets come as a result of not following those simple directions. I have either chosen to ignore my inner wisdom or just didn’t hear it. I was too stressful, fearful, or angry. But there was an even greater barrier to sensing that gentle guidance – my need for approval, recognition and acceptance. That was what I wanted my children to understand. By the time they were 12, I knew that they could trust what was in their hearts, if they just stopped and listened.
