Welcome To Our Transition Blog

At 12:04 a.m. last Sunday morning, the earth momentarily stopped its rotational tilt to the north and slowly began tipping to the south again. To us here in the northern hemisphere, it appeared that the sun had temporarily stopped before beginning its annual trek back to the north.

     It’s the winter solstice, a magical time of year when the longest night of the year is followed with more daylight each succeeding day. The symbolism is inescapable – with the long dark night comes a promise of brighter days ahead.

     We have celebrated the solstice around the world and in dozens of cultures for thousands of years. Not only have we celebrated, we have also felt moved to create personal growth and change – a call for a brighter future.

     It must be more than mere tradition that moves us at this time of year. There must be something transcendent that generates the energy we have for transformation at year end. Can you feel it? It’s a call to review, resolve, reform, regenerate, redeem, reclaim, recover, recreate and realize. It’s a time of rebirth and resurgence.

     It’s too bad that so many of us, including me, have often turned this into such a sham – a time of excess, over indulgence and bogus resolutions. But we all know that this call for transformation is not something to be toyed with or ignored. Joseph Campbell eloquently cautioned us when he wrote:

“Often in actual life, and not infrequently in popular tales, you encounter the dull case of the call unanswered; for it is always possible to turn an ear to other self interests. Refusal of the summons converts the adventure into its negative.  Walled in boredom and hard work, the subject loses the power to take significant affirmative action and becomes a victim to be saved.”

     Speaking for myself, I am not at all committed to self-victimization. I know all too well the experience of a year gone by without significant action or progress. I know what it means to be walled in by my own lack of commitment and action. Never again. Many years ago I choose to celebrate my life and open myself to ever increasing freedom, joy and growth.

     Please join me in the coming weeks as I write about how you can create your own personal transformation. You’ll learn how to create a powerful new story, one that breaks the limitations imposed by history; how to establish a powerful foundation for growth based on your strengths, values and sense of purpose; how to align commitment and action with your intention; and what might derail you and how to stay on track.

     Until then, I wish you a magical season celebrating life, giving, dedication, sacrifice, family, transformation and miracles. May your Christmas, Hanukkah, Bodhi Day, Dong zhi, Diwali, Eid ul-Adha, Yalda, Matariki, and the lunar new year mark the beginning of something truly extraordinary for you.

Tags: celebrate life, new years resolutions, reform, resolve

     Have you ever been “punk’d”? You know…had a prank played on you designed to create your most embarrassing moment.

     Here’s a wonderful vignette from The Relationship Handbook by George Pransky that lets us feel the emotional affect of a prank. Notice your reaction as you imagine yourself as the person being described below.

“The scene is the lobby of a movie theater. You are standing in line to buy tickets. Suddenly a burly man walks in front of you and steps on your toe. He offers no apology. In fact, he acts like you don’t exist. Anger builds in you.

Suddenly your anger turns to chagrin. You just noticed his white cane and black glasses. Turning to the man behind you, you relate mistake. He laughs and says he knows the alleged blind man. “That man is not blind,” he reports. “He’s just a sadist who pretends to be blind to avoid punishment for his sadistic acts.”

Your embarrassment instantly turns to outrage. “How could anyone be that low?” you ask yourself. You consider telling him off or even taking a punch at him despite his size.

An older man pulls you aside. He tells you that the man behind you is the sadist and the burly man actually is blind. Your outrage turns to confusion and then levity when a middle-aged bald man comes over and says, “Smile, you’re on Candid Camera!”

     I guess in this day and age, it would be Ashton Kutcher saying, “You’re Punk’d!”  But we don’t need Ashton to do the dirty work because we “punk” ourselves all day long.

     All it takes is for something to happen that we see, hear or feel, and a thought (an interpretation of the event) immediately follows. That thought takes the form of a story – that’s right or that’s wrong; or that’s the way things should or shouldn’t be.

     It’s the story we tell ourselves, of course, that creates the emotions listed in Pransky’s vignette – anger, chagrin, embarrassment, outrage, confusion and finally, levity.

     So how do we immediately know what’s right or wrong? Not only do we know it, but we feel absolutely confident that that we’ve got it right. Where does that “knowing” come from?

     It’s probably a little intuition plus experience, things like our education, attitudes, values, motives and intent that helps us interpret every present moment.

     Weird, isn’t it? We experience the present by assessing it with habitual thinking patterns created from the past. Most of the time that’s a good thing. It can keep us from making life threatening mistakes over and over.

     Like all natural gifts, there’s a down side if this ability is overused. It stops continuous growth and learning the very moment we believe a stressful or negative thought without question.

     So who would you be if you freed yourself from every automatic assertion and judgment? Who would you be if you tested the absolute truth of your old stories? Who would you be if you accepted reality as it unfolded without judgment and just responded with thoughtful intent and purpose?

     Think about it. The only reason Kutcher’s pranks were even mildly entertaining is because we love watching the victims’ violent arguments with reality, “This should not be happening to me!”

     What if Kutcher’s so-called victims thoughtfully accepted the staged prank as it unfolded without judging it as good or bad? What if they responded fearlessly or with kindness and understanding? It would be the end of that show, and probably all “reality” TV for that matter.

     We too can all end the unnecessary drama in our lives if we stopped arguing with reality. Try it for a day, even an hour, and watch your world change. (See www.thework.com for more information).

Tags: life story, punk'd, reality, thoughts, victim

     I learned an amazing secret several years ago on one of my favorite trail runs. Less than 20 minutes from my home, it’s in north central Phoenix where there is a desert mountain preserve that spans about 11 miles from east to west and 4 miles north to south. Go five minutes into it and you’ll lose any sense of the city that surrounds it.

     The trails, beautifully rugged and rocky, traverse all through the 11 mile valley and the surrounding mountain slopes. I’m not sure what geological events created this valley, but the area looks as if it was created by hundreds of small volcanoes. There are hills and peaks enough to challenge the most athletic runners.

     I haven’t always run. For several decades I had stopped running, choosing instead long distance biking. I had a story that my knees were shot and the pain wasn’t worth the effort, yet I secretly longed to run. I’ve always believed that we were made to run. Why else would we have legs to pump, hearts to beat, and lungs to breathe? Why the endorphin high if we weren’t designed for stress?

     So I started to run.  One day, after hiking up a peak on the eastern edge of the preserve, I just started running down the trail. Anticipating the old familiar pain in my knees, I carefully choreographed each step, but to my surprise it wasn’t all that bad.

     After I cleared a steep part of the decent, I opened up my stride. My feet just seemed to know exactly where to land on the rock strewn trail. From my mind’s eye, I watched in amazement as I floated down the trail.

     I woke up early the next morning an hour before dawn, excited to be on the trail again. I wanted to reach the peak in time to see the sun rise and then enjoy the thrill of the downhill run again. I started up the trail slowly, warming up for this first quarter of a mile and then increased my pace. It wasn’t long before I was on the steep part of the trail, pushing myself to go a little faster.

     With lungs heaving, legs burning and Achilles tendons stretched to the limit, I reached the false summit, a beautiful spot that levels out just before the final and steepest part of the climb. My super ego was screaming at me to stop, “You’ll die. Heart attack!”, but I knew if I stopped, I wouldn’t likely continue.

     I had once read about an extreme skier who trained in the summer running straight up ski slopes as hard and fast as he could. He figured he’d pass out or puke before he had a heart attack. I didn’t know if that was true, but I sure hoped so.  I ran up the rest of the way as fast as I could.

     It wasn’t pretty. My nose running like a two year old with a cold, and I was retching, sweating and swearing my way to the top. I had pushed myself before, but not this way, not in 100 mile bike races or slogging through the muddy jungles of Viet Nam. An alarming voice in the back of my head was telling me that my heart was going to explode. My super ego again. I told it to shut the #$&% up!

     I reached the top a few minutes before sun rise, heart pounding, lungs heaving and legs trembling. Then it happened. The Arizona sky lit up with luscious lavender, orange and golden hues. Every cell in my body was in a peak state, electrified. My senses amplified every sound, sight smell and feeling.  I was joyously and totally alive.  Overwhelmed with gratitude, I wept a prayer of thanks. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

     That night I wrote these notes in my journal:  Today, I touched the numinous and the eternal.  What an incredible gift… I am blessed with the miracle of aliveness…legs churning, lungs pumping, heart bursting, thinking, seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, my body feeling.

Remembering words from My Dinner with Andre, I wrote: I cherish the sacramental elements of my life – my marriage, my work, my family, my friends, my world, and my universe. I am living each day as a prayer and a possibility. Thank you, God!

     Nothing creates a sense of grace and peace in me more powerfully than simple gratitude. I breathe in and I am grateful. I hear my ears ringing and I am grateful. I feel my heart beating and I am grateful. Everyday. Thank you.

Tags: giving thanks, grateful, gratitude, running, Thanksgiving

     A week ago on Tuesday evening, November 4th, I watched a graceful and articulate black man take on an equally tough opponent who was not as skilled or graceful, but who against all odds fought on and lasted until the very end of the fight. No, it wasn’t the election coverage. It was a rerun of Rocky.

     As I sat watching Rocky and Apollo Creed slug it out for 15 rounds instead of the election results, my wife asked me several times, “Now, why are you doing this?” I’ve always liked this film about a man’s liberation from his own distorted self-concept, but I wasn’t watching Rocky because I was indifferent about the election.

     Rather, I’ve been doing some emotional muscle building lately, especially delaying gratification. So I chose not to watch the election returns. I suppose that could be viewed as weird or a little silly, but I do stuff like that just to create a little mental stress for myself. Then I just sit back and notice what goes on in my mind as my super ego demands instant gratification.

     The logical part of my mind rationalized that my watching would have no effect on the outcome. I had already voiced my opinion when asked. I had donated money, and I had studied the issues and various positions before voting. I had already done all that I wanted to do as an American citizen.

     But there was a part of me that craved knowing.  It was a nagging and annoying emotional itch that demanded scratching…NOW! It was my old addiction for having to know. So I chose not to watch. I went cold turkey.

     On Wednesday morning I awoke a free man. I did not need to know who won. Knowing what my intent was for the day was enough. I knew what I wanted to accomplish. No matter who was elected, I would still do my work, pay my taxes, and either consent or dissent as the new administration takes power.

     Very early in my life I became driven by a need to be independent, to be free and express my own personal power. It’s still one of my core values, but I’ve since learned that the only freedom I ever needed was to be free of my own thoughts; thoughts that limit me and create anger, fear, and resistance.

     I have always been free; I just couldn’t see all the power that I had at my disposal. Like Rocky, it was only my thoughts that held me back, and it is only my thoughts that will create the action necessary to live an extraordinary life. I am free.

Tags: freedom, presidential election, thoughts

     They say that some animals, like dogs and horses, can smell fear. If that’s true, those poor animals must be gagging on the fear pheromones being emitted around the country today as people mindlessly react to headlines, polls, blogs and news casts.

     Fortunately for the animals, they don’t so much smell fear as much as they pick up the changes in human behavior. They can see and feel the characteristic nuances of human anxiety and fright - things like shallow breaths, rigidity, tension, hesitation and cringing.

     Dog trainers say that we transmit our anxiety right down the leash to our dogs. My wife Patsy noticed it years ago when her yellow lab was just about 6 months old. As a pup, he used to bark and excitedly pull on the leash whenever he encountered another dog, almost pulling Patsy over in his rush to size up the other dog.

     She began to dread running into other dogs on her morning walks, and it wasn’t long before this gentle lab started reacting very aggressively towards other dogs. He picked up her anxiety through the tension in the leash and the slowing of her steps as other dogs approached her, and he soon became equally anxious around other dogs.

     Leaders do the same thing when they attempt to influence or induce action through fear. I noticed it several days ago when I visited a new client and met with the CEO and CFO. After ushering me into their conference room, the CFO asked, “So Jim, what do you think about the market?”

     That’s a loaded question, isn’t it? If someone wants to know about the market, they’ll ask Warren Buffet, not me. What he wanted to know is if I was scared as he was. The truth is that I seldom if ever think about the market.

     When this so called crisis began, I made adjustments in my savings and other investments, and that was about it. I still get up in the morning and live my life each day, doing what I love to do no matter what my bank balance is.

     I designed my life this way with great intent and purposeful sacrifice over the course of the last eight years in order to have life the way I choose it. Economic conditions will not change that. I will continue to serve in the way that I do no matter if I wake up on a park bench or in a mansion.

     That’s not the kind of reasoning most CFOs want to hear, much less understand. Just as I was about to share those thoughts, he launched into a catastrophic doomsday scenario. It was an impressive display of financial acumen, market knowledge, inside information and tight logic. I have to admit that for a minute or two I allowed it to suck me in. I had mindlessly reacted to his rant.

      I could feel my anxiety rise and my spirits start to sag. My thoughts ran with him as he painted a dismal future, and then I caught myself. Nothing had changed. I was still living my life as I intended. Just then I glanced over at the CEO and caught his eye.

     I can only guess, but I suspect we were thinking the same thing.  How many employees, customers or other stakeholders had heard those toxic thoughts? And what were the unintended consequences?

     What ever he intended, it wasn’t leadership. You can’t produce long term positive action through scare tactics. Why? Because if you scare people enough, they will move into a self-preservation mode. It becomes all about survival – theirs, not yours. Employees can “smell” your fear, and that’s not their problem, it’s yours.

Tags: economy, fear tactics, leadership horror stories

     What does it mean to be accountable? That’s a question I frequently ask management teams, and invariably I get a number of different answers, even from managers on the same team. My second question is how do you know if someone is being accountable or not? The answers get even fuzzier.

     If a manager can’t clearly explain the concept of accountability, then how would he or she hold anyone accountable? It’s no wonder that so many managers are fussing about the lack of accountability in their organizations. What they don’t seem understand is that the so called lack of accountability begins and ends with the managers themselves. This is not a Gen Y problem. It’s a management problem.

     Here’s what I mean. Let’s say you ask me if I will do something, and I answer, “Yes, I will.” What just happened? You made a request, and I made a commitment. It’s not an action item; it’s a promise to do what I agreed to do. So if I do what I promised, then am I being accountable?

     Not yet. To be accountable I must also provide an account of my decisions, actions and results - truthfully and with no excuses or lengthy explanations.

      But that’s not what we’re fussing about, is it? No, when we complain about the lack of accountability it’s more than that…especially when the results are not delivered. Let’s say I failed to deliver the results I promised, but I tell you what my decisions were, the action taken, and the results produced. So I am being accountable…happy now?

     Probably not, because there is something else that we’re looking for that tells us whether or not someone is fully accountable. I think we are judging how the goal was pursued as much or more than we are evaluating the results. It’s how the game is played as much as the final score that determines if we make the team.

     There are three things I look for to judge the level of one’s accountability. The first is whether or not appropriate action was taken. Often, nothing is really happening or being done other than busy work. If there was appropriate action, but there is still a shortfall, then I look to see if a wide range of alternative action is being pursued.

      Most often people stop short of considering all their viable alternatives. A phone call or an email is not the only way to contact someone, right? What are all the creative ways that we can employ to make an important connection? If challenged, we could think of hundreds of ways. But what if we are being creative and daring, but still not getting the results we want?

      That’s when I look for the intensity of the effort. Are the amounts of time, energy, people, money and other resources (internal and external) being applied at the appropriate level? My experience is that they seldom are. If intensity could be measured on a scale from 1 to 10, few people really play full out at level 10.

     But what if we are in action and considering a number of options and playing full out, but we are not getting the results we want? Well, I don’t know about you, but the last thing I am concerned about is whether or not someone is being accountable. If we’ve done all that, then maybe we just need to change the goal.

     Taking action, creating options and applying an intense effort to the goal is what accountability is all about; and people who work that way are the kind of people I want on my team.

Tags: accountability, Leadership, management

     You’ve probably been subjected to some kind of extreme leadership or team building experience, right?  They are carefully designed to evoke high levels of fear, usually created through an illusion of being physically at risk.

     Some of the most common experiences include high rope courses, zip lines, repelling, white water rafting, fire walking, parachute jumping, rock climbing, or maybe even a NASCAR experience.

     These experiences are supposed to give us a powerful new perspective for our everyday work world. Somehow we’ll be transformed into better leaders, more aligned team members, or more creative problem solvers.

     Imagine, all that after spending a weekend dangling from the top of a telephone pole or repelling off a 60 foot rock wall. Of course, the problem with these kinds of experiences is that the illusion of being truly at risk is easily shattered. We quickly learn that if we slip, we’re safely suspended by a rope capable of holding 20 times our own weight.

     But that’s not the way it works back at the office, is it? If you slip up there, you may not always get a lot of support. You may be left to dangle on your own, or your life line may even be severed.

     Besides, what we fear as leaders is not being physically vulnerable; it’s the fear of being emotionally exposed and vulnerable.

     It’s the fear of hearing what your direct reports and peers really think about you. It’s the fear of admitting when you’re wrong. It’s the fear of appearing weak when we say “I’m sorry, or I love you.” It’s the fear of saying no. It’s the fear of seeing what has really gone wrong is our own leadership. It’s the fear of standing alone when there’s nothing to support you other than your own values and convictions.

     If you truly want to be transformed as a leader, face what you most fear saying, doing or discovering. You know what it is you have been resisting for far too long, don’t you? You already know what you are avoiding. You already know what limits your leadership. It is the very thing you are afraid to take on.

     The answer for doing that won’t be found at the top of a 50 foot pole or at the bottom of class 5 rapids. The answer lies within your own heart, and acting on that with courage and grace will forever change your life and career. That is the ultimate leadership development experience.

P.S. If you’re stuck, read my article “Create the Courage to Live Your Life on Purpose”.

Tags: Courage, Leadership Development, Problem Solving, Team Building

     Over the years, I’ve met hundreds of people in transition, and they share a common frustration. No matter how successful and skilled, they can’t get past HR for an interview because they lack the exact experience the position requires.

     Well, here’s an executive position where they don’t seem to be too hung up about experience. Check out these qualifications.

     You must be a natural born citizen, and you have to be at least 35 years old. And get this…you don’t qualify if you have experience! That’s right. If you held the same job before, you can’t do it again.

     While it’s not a requirement, everyone who has held the job until now has been a white male. I hear that’s changing, so some of you could lose that advantage soon.

     I have to be honest with you. It does have a down side. The interview process is grueling, and it takes a couple of years. The funny thing is that the interview questions are really easy, and they ask the same one’s over and over.

     All you have to do is make promises – lots of them. You don’t even have to say how you’ll get it done. Just keep promising things you really have no control over much less any real intention of ever accomplishing.

     If they don’t like your answers, just change them and flip to another position. Some people will grumble about that, but they don’t really have any more say about the final decision than you or I do.

     What is really fascinating is that this selection process has resulted in hiring a number of outstanding leaders; some would even say great leaders. There have been a few slip in who weren’t really up to the demands of the job, but almost all of them performed admirably.

     Several have even been noted as being among the greatest leaders of all time, and very few of those had any relevant experience. What did they have? They had characteristics like integrity, ethics and trust. They had qualities like courage, perseverance, and compassion. 

     They were skilled in influence, relationship management, collaboration, and negotiation. They were brilliant visionaries and strategists who could compel others to join them in a great cause.

     They were far from fault free, but they all were deeply self-reflective and learned from their mistakes. So maybe George Bernard Shaw had it right when he said, “Men are wise in proportion, not to their experience, but to their capacity for experience.”

Tags: job experience, Leadership, presidential election, transition

     I wasn’t sure I heard her correctly. It sounded like she said, “Someday we’re going to be a billion dollar business.” I can remember thinking that she probably meant to say million.  But then she said it again, in a self-confident and assured way, “A Billion dollar business.”

     She was the receptionist sitting at a secondhand desk in a lobby situated at the front of a small warehouse that was being used for office space. The lobby was smaller than most bathrooms. Phone lines dangled from the ceiling tiles along with a number of other cables and wires that disappeared somewhere under her desk. I was crammed into the corner sitting in the only chair in the lobby.

     I was there for an interview…well, sort of an interview, but not really. I was new to the Phoenix area, and the consultant I was working with recommended that I go out for several practice interviews before I met with a real opportunity. This was my first practice interview.

     After sitting there for a while and surveying the scene, I was convinced the consultant was an idiot. My instinct was to excuse myself, make a dash out the door, jump in my car and peel out of the parking lot without looking back. About that time, one of the company’s founders walked into the lobby and greeted me. His name was Jeff.

     After about an hour with Jeff and another hour with a few other leaders on his team, I was convinced the receptionist was right. This company was up to something big. It was poised to catch the first wave of a technology revolution, and I wanted to be a part of that.  I was ready to confess my interview ploy and ask for a job, but Jeff beat me to the punch. He asked if I wanted to be a part of something great – to change the way the world worked. In less than a split second, I said yes.

     We did go on to become a multi-billion dollar Fortune 500 company. The 15 years I spent with Jeff were extraordinary. Not because we grew into a large company, but because Jeff created a culture where people could be great. They were encouraged to take risks, test their limits, continuously learn and apply those lessons to get even better. That’s what drove Jeff personally. As a leader, he never stopped learning, and even more importantly, he never stopped teaching his team. That’s quite a legacy, isn’t it?

     A legacy is the difference you make and the lasting impact you have on others, both good and bad. What is your legacy? It’s never too early to think about it. Far too many managers are playing a small game and pursuing trivial metrics just to meet their quarterly objectives. That small game keeps their people small too.  

     But if you’re up to something great, you’ll see that your people are growing in personal power, significance and capability. You’ll be tested, stretched, challenged and learning just as your team will if you are in a game changing venture.

     It really doesn’t matter if you are an individual contributor, manger or executive – anyone can choose to be or do something truly extraordinary…or not. It’s your legacy.

We were on choppy water headed into a stiff breeze 5 miles out from the coast when we spotted the first pod of dolphins. At a distance, they looked like small black waves breaking the surface. As we drew closer, we could see more than 100 adults and calves playfully leaping, breaching, tail-whacking and belly flopping. They probably weren’t playing, more likely feeding, but to my human eyes it was unadulterated fun.

Suddenly several dozen dolphins swam under the boat to ride the bow waves, porpoiseing just inches ahead of our 50 foot catamaran. Patsy and I stepped up into the starboard prow, leaning far out over the railing and watched in fascination as the dolphins skittered in and out of the path of the boat and its churning propellers. This wasn’t our first experience dolphin watching, but each time still feels as exhilarating as the first.

It was a cool, gray day and we were only wearing shorts and tee-shirts. Patsy tucked in behind me to get out of the wind and wrapped her arms around me. We both laughed, thinking how it might appear to the other passengers that we were reenacting Leonardo DiCaprio’s and Kate Winslet’s scene on the prow of the Titanic.

We didn’t really care what they thought. Far from feeling like “the king of the world”, I was humbled by the enormous energy that surrounded us - the ocean’s boundless waves, the dolphins’ acrobatics, and Patsy’s love. That was how we spent our first day on a four-day trip to Southern California for a friend’s wedding.

We’ve lost count of how many weekend runs we’ve made to the coast to escape the Arizona heat, but this trip will always be memorable because of the amazing life energy we felt there. First it came from the ocean and the wind. Later, it came even more powerfully from the people we were with.

That evening we witnessed a beautiful, young couple, Matt and Lindsay, proclaim their everlasting love for each other. The wedding took place at sunset on a bluff that overlooked the beach where Matt had proposed to Lindsay.

Matt is a Marine hero, recently home from the war, and soon to be redeployed again somewhere in the world far from his bride. Patsy and I were both moved by this warrior’s gentle and loving presence as he freely expressed his love not only for her but also for his friends, family and fellow Marines.

The reception was fabulous. Matt and Lindsay’s favorite band, OffWhite (www.iamoffwhite.com) rocked us all night long. Everyone danced, but I especially loved watching the children. They were just as uninhibited and energetic as the dolphins, letting the music move their little bodies around in a totally primitive and joyous way. Patsy and I soon joined them and danced the night away.

It was just what I needed. You see, every once in a while I lose it. Not my temper or my composure, but the self I’ve come to know when I’m fully present and awake. When I’m present, my heart is open and courageously loving. Nothing is hidden. I am just there with no pretense or need to be accepted or approved of. It’s just me there for you or whoever is in front of me.

Funny thing about my being present is that I have to be present in order to know when I’m not. Sometimes what wakes me up is a physical sensation in the middle of my chest…hardened, and closed off, as if hiding something.  Sometimes though, its love that gently opens my eyes to who I really am. Thanks, Matt and Lindsay, for the wake up call.